Marriage Booster

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Part 2

Ephesians 5.25-32

“He Gave Himself for Her”

Husbands are to give themselves for their wives as Christ gave himself for the Church.  Already we run into a problem, men, for while willingness to die for another is part of the male psyche, living for another is not.  Yet, Jesus shows us that active, on-going giving of yourself for your wife is the very essence of masculine love.  Christ did not give himself at the cross only; he also gave himself in his earthly ministry (Mat 20.28), and even now “he ever lives to intercede for us” (Heb 7.25).  That kind of active giving does not just happen; it requires prayer, planning, commitment, and sacrifice.

It begins with giving yourself for your wife in prayer (Heb 7.25).  That means carrying her to God in your arms, as it were, and praying in the “we” (see Dan 9.4-19; John 17.20-24).  It means being fervent in prayer (James 5.16).  It means being understanding toward her and honoring her as a fellow heir of eternal life so that your prayers are not hindered (1Pet 3.7).

“Not Neglecting, but Nourishing and Cherishing”

Husbands should not “hate” their wives, but “nourish and cherish” them as their own bodies (Eph 5.28-29).  “Hate” in this context means to fail to give what is owed under a sacred duty.  Jacob, for example, “hated” Leah because he loved her less than Rachel (Gen 29.30-31).  In the same way, a husband who neglects to nourish and cherish his wife “hates” his own body.

Once again, men, we have a problem.  Men tend to make good firemen but lousy nurturers.  Men tend to respond well in crisis, but they tend to need a crisis to respond.  That’s not nurture or cherishment; that’s neglect.  “Nourish” means “to provide food for,” and thus to promote health and growth.  “Cherish” means “to keep warm,” and thus to tenderly care for.  You don’t wait until you’re starving to eat.  You don’t wait until you’re freezing to put on a coat.  Yet many husbands neglect their wives in just that way.  They don’t act like their wife is one flesh with them.

Let’s answer some more pointed questions:

Is your wife healthy and growing because she is married to you?

Is she warm inside and out because she has you for a husband?

Does she feel safe, secure, and significant?

Or does she feel empty, cold, and neglected?

Do you show her consideration?

Do you speak kindly to her?

Do you listen to her when she talks to you?

Do you perform little kindnesses that show her you think and care about her?

Do you pray with her?

(To be continued . . .)

1. 

   Mark Filicetti says:

   September 10, 2010 at 12:20 am

   Thanks, Alan. You really post the next daily installment. Much appreciated and great teaching. We need it.